TIGER WOODS LAUNCHES NEW CAREER WRITING SELF HELP BOOKS

2-18-2010 3:40 PM EST

Tiger Woods will hold a press conference on Friday 2-19-2010

The airwaves are buzzing with the " over / under " propositions .

The following "what if's" seem to be the most common .

1) Will Tiger's wife attend ? ( NO )

2) Will Tiger wear his wedding ring ? ( YES )

3) Will Tiger wear a NIKE hat or a T.W hat ( NIKE )

4) How many people will " stand by Tiger " at the press conference other than his agent ? (4)

Expect Charles Barkley ( a confirmed racist and all around vile character ) Charles enjoys driving his auto while intoxicated and letting a HOOKER give him "oral dissertations" so he and Tiger have lots in common and belong to the same support group ( washed up athletes who are addicted to hookers and porn stars )

Michael Jackson is dead so he cant attend !

Could Kobe Bryant show up to show his support?
Charlie Sheen ?
Wilt Chamberlain ?

Perhaps Tiger has a new 24/ 7 assistant that is in charge of helping him with his sex addiction ?

One thing is for sure, in just 82 days Tiger has gone from a certified sex fiend with a 2 hooker a day habit , porn star every weekend , orgy buying idiot to COMPLETELY CURED !!!

Hollywood insiders reveal Veronica Siwik-Daniels (aka Joslyn James)will be starring in a new film

" Around the world in 82 days "

Joslyn James will star in the film which depicts a RENT A BABE that will trek around the world with her handy TAPE MEASURE and Spot check various athletes and report on how they " measure up " to her friend TIGER .

Gloria Allred is demanding that Tiger publicly apologize to Ms. James and use her name .
Gloria claims Tiger ruined this female's life.
Seems she quit making PORN MOVIES because she was convinced Tiger was only PAYING HER to have sex with him ,and she was content letting him play " Sugar DADDY " with her .
Imagine that....... a PORN career destroyed by a rich athlete paying a female for sex!!!

Ms. James also allegedly aborted 2 of Tiger's offspring.

Tiger is now in what ROD STEWART immortalized in song , a " BALL TRAP ".
If Tiger apologizes in public to MS. JAMES then Gloria wins a big fat lawsuit .
If Tiger fails to apologize , then Gloria still wins a big fat lawsuit, it merely takes a few more weeks is all .

What are your predictions on Tigers press conference ?
If Tiger were to apologize to each victim would it last 4 hours ?
This will be the beginning of many a lawsuit !